Seventh On Sale: Fashion Dos & Don'ts Galores

Okay, I don't see what the BFD is about Seventh On Sale. I'm glad it's for a good cause, (100% of the eBay proceeds go to HIV/ AIDS charities, and you can't argue with that... unless you're George Bush or something) but it's basically a black tie flea market. Mainly, I'm confused about what happened to my invite -- it must've gotten lost in the mail. Harumph! Oh well. There's always next year. Til then, let's talk about the abundant fashion mortses, and a few gems too.

While I do agree with one Popsugar commenter, who referred to MK's Giambattista Valli white frock as a "Huggies" dress (tee!), I LOVE the fun, much-ballyhooed hot-pink stilettos (also Giambattista Valli) Mary-Kate wore. The dress is, as most anything she wears over a size 3T, humungo on her, the shoes work. And considering some of the batshit-nuts get-ups she often wears, this is seriously tame. And yes, they're an impractical 18 inches tall or something, but doesn't she have someone she pays to carry her? Observe the look in this less scowly shot below. Yay! ... Now if only she'd get rid of that baby fat already! HOW WOODE!



Jessica Seinfeld also could've wrapped Mary-Kate around her waist for a "pop" of color!


Yes, it's bit flamenco-y, but Jennifer Connelly is spellbinding in Oscar de la Renta, and it fits her so well on top that she actually manages to stand out from the dress and not look like the dress is wearing her. Minus several points though for the Bert and Ernie brows.


Dita Von Teese continues to scare me. Am I supposed to care that she fucked Marilyn Manson?? She reminds me of a slutty Mona Lisa. And what's more, Eve appears to be growing out of the side of her Marchesa gown...


... While Blake Lively appears to be playing an invisible harp growing out of her head while doing an impression of Cher.


Kate Spade may be an arbiter of questionable accessories and often boring little handbags, but she's CLEARLY doing something right since she's a billionairess. She knows what's up, right? So why is she wearing metallic blue ankle straps with this purple pup-tent of a dress? And the belt looks like those tie-down thingies you use to hold down your Igloo cooler to the top of your Rav4. Perhaps she had to dash off to a camping benefit straight away!


Michael Stipe is flashing you. (I smell a LOL Cat in here!)


Can we PLEASE just stop humoring Parker Posey? Yes, she does a funny Southern accent and was hilarious as the Busy Bee lady and great as a creepy fake Jackie O. But she's clearly NUTTY! Just swap out her bag with the New York Times, and you've got suburban "Just Grabbin' The Paper" couture. Seriously, you should not sleep naked in a hotel, lest the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and you gotta bolt. Should that occur, you should definitely have a poly-sateen bathrobe on hand.


Okay. Beddy-bye time for Tams!

Cute Clutches

If the pollen count is high this spring, then so is the unbelievable amount of irresistibly cute clutches swirling around in my brain. Woah. That was like the worst mixed metaphor ever. It was just plain awful. Anyway. Clutches rule, if only just in theory, since clutches + walking around in, say, Midtown Manhattan = mugging magnet. But for all you ladies who drive and can RUN from the parking lot to your destination, whiteknuckling your clutch like a football, these are for you. Soooo many effing cute clutches, in ascending order of affordability.



($4.29, Asos.com)
Love the envelope style and I LOVE the snap closure.



($5.97, Torrid.com)
How cute would this be with a flirty solid colored dress, hm? Or adorbs A-line skirt and denim jacket or the like? Or jacket with '80s poofy sleeves, if it's the Cyndi Lauper look you're after? Ahh I'm awash in endless possibilities!



($6.49, Target)
Exaggerated old-school snap fixture! LOVES! And it's in several other choice colors.



($9, FredFlare.com)
This should come with a defibrillator to bring you back after going into acute cuteness shock.



($9.74, ModCloth.com)
This really is such an ideal lil guy right here. And check out the other delish bold colors it comes in too. Oh, and the lovies at ModCloth hooked y'all up with an especial Fashion Binge coupon code: Enter "binge10" for 10% off any order. (Membership has its privileges!)



(Approx $9.81 USD, DorothyPerkins.co.uk)
Just TRY not to love the buckle clutch. Oh, and check out the rest of the cute clutches Dorothy Perkins has.



($10.79, ModCloth.com)
I'm not the BIGGEST polka dot fan, but for those of you who can deal, here's this.



($14.98, Torrid.com)
Yes. I know pink glitter is ridiculous. Don't like it? You can leave the way you came in!



($15, LulusFashionLounge.com)
Great shape, and it's named "Purple Rain." What's not to love?



($32, Little Odd Forest, Forestprints.com)
So. much crafty cuteness without too much DIY-ness.



($51.95, Melie Bianco, Zappos)
I sorta shamefully love this in that way that you're not supposed to be attracted to frat boys but sometimes secretly are. I like the preppy Bass Weejun/ Sperry Topsider/ Duck image this classic clutch conveys. Well done, Melie Bianco!



($80, m. andonia, Fredla.com)
Is this too Frida Kahlo? Regardless, I like.



($90, Bambina di Cioccolato, StarsandInfiniteDarkness.com)
Lovely color combos. The black and white one is very Chanel. Without the two extra digits at the front of the price tag.



($100, Bambina di Cioccolato, StarsandInfiniteDarkness.com)
I'm generally not a fan of the ring wristlet, but these are some fantastic colors. You NEED an olive clutch.



($116.06, Charles David, Zappos)
More of that "Preppy Handbook" style to which I'm apparently latently attracted.



($160.88, Blush, Asos.com)
I know this isn't technically a clutch, but it came up in my search for clutches, so that kinda counts. I have no idea why I'm attracted to a $160-wallet with an abstract depiction of a unicorn on it, but, well, here it is.



($218, Kate Spade, Zappos)
No, I haven't lost my mind. I have a bizarre affinity for lobsters. And I love this. And I love the "Heddy" cosmetic bag version too.



($201, Whiting & Davis, Zappos)
Finally, here's one of the ugliest items I've seen in hours. Look! It's a ... shiny, iridescent lump of shit! With a porthole! For old ladies!


P.S:

($48, Juicy Couture, Nordstrom.com)
As lame as Juicy Couture can often be, this headphone charm is precious.


Ok, bye!