Cuters Accessories, And Some Not-So Cuters

Several unnecessary but adorbs accessories:

($28, Jonathan Adler)

Many It-designers are overrated. Jonathan Adler is not of them. I LOVE his pottery and I'm especially enamored of his embroidered pieces. They have that excellent 1970s je ne sai quoi that totally reminds me of all the cool shit inside of Roy Scheider's Bob Fosse apartment in "All That Jazz."

($25 per hanky/ $125 for all seven, Jack Spade)

Jack Spade is also one of those designers, though while I do find his much of his pricing to be overrated, I love his design aesthetic. These day-of-the-week handkerchiefs are each named for a different day-of-the-week song title. Days-of-the-week hankies are the new days-of-the-week undies.

Close up:
CUTE! Saturday's prolly my fave.

($25, Patricia Field)

I know I shouldn't like this cute little Patricia Field Barbie mirror compact, yet I do.

($248, Anomaly Jewelry, Etsy)

I'm not a huge fan of babies (not ones that are born or awake anyway), but I do love lobsters. And while a real-life lobster baby would probably break my heart, I'm not sure if it'd break it as much as not owning this piece would.

($274, Sabrina Dehoff, Creatures of Comfort)

I think I may've posted this ages ago, but I'm not the best at "memory." Anyway, it rules.



Now, three things that definitely don't rule:

(Bijules NYC)

Um, I too put a high premium on creativity, but sometimes, you just gotta draw the line. Unless you're Lil Kim. (I do like a lot of this designer's other pieces those.)

($244, Gary Baseman, Thegiantpeach.com)

I know there's an entire world of anime and street artists and stuff that I know admittedly little about, but sometimes I just KNOW in my gut that sometimes, plastic figurines are best left to plastic figurines.

Now, as someone who enjoys making jewelry, I know it's not nice to crap on other people's hard work. But, that said, that's basically what I'm about to do. Okay, I think it's nice that if you're say, 48 years old and have several grandchildren whose likenesses you want to turn into mini acrylic chips that you can wear around your wrist, then you've found an outlet to fulfill that desire. But a Fall Out Boy charm bracelet? (Chris Daughtry and Josh Groban I can sort of understand. It hits that target demo like a fucking bullseye.) But AFI? Breaking Benjamin? And who the fuck is Neal Schon? Should you be able to own a McDreamy Grey's Anatomy charm bracelet? In my opinion, you should not be able to. Also, the egregious misspelling of John Lennon and Van Halen concern me greatly.

It's showtime!

'Tis The Season For Fugs Footwear: The Holiday Edition

Truthfully, the only thing these shoes have to do with the holidays is that it's the middle of the December. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get to it:

($164, Glory Chen, Endless.com)

You don't even need to have seen the inside of this person's home to know that it's decorated in that depressing pastel "Southwestern" Stucco style.

($50, Schuh)

How can just one pair of cheap shoes say so much about unfulfilled expectations?

($470, Bernard Wilhelm, Shopfatal.com)

Remember the '80s? Yeah? Me too. Some things are best left there.

($198, Free People)

Aye caballero. No mas, por favor!


(Apprx $152, Topshop)

Perhaps these "Gladiator" boots were named after the movie, which would explain why they suck so epically.

($109, Type Z, Zappos)

Can whoever took Apollonia's purple suede "shoobies" without asking please return them? She's getting pissed.

($2,350, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

FINALLY! A boot that lets me pay tribute to both "Hellraiser" and "Blade Runner" at the same time.

($78, Naughty Monkey, Zappos)

Sometimes, "knowing when to say when" applies to the Bedazzler too.