Shoegasm & More Sexually Charged Objets

That's seriously the name of a chain of shoe stores here in NYC. Shoegasm. For real. The name is so effing horbs, and I have to give it this Yelper for stating perfectly what's so cringe-inducing about this mindless moniker:

"I really don't like when people put "gasm" on the end of nonsexual things to signify that they are in some way sexually satisfying. It's crass, and moreover, it's tired."

Word.

However, I'm now going to both lean upon a cliche and shoot myself in the foot (har) when I state that the following shoes basically did cause me to climax into a footwear frenzy:







They're both by Hetty Rose who creates MADE TO ORDER shoes from vintage Japanese kimono fabric. Let me say that again: the she makes MADE TO ORDER shoes from VINTAGE Japanese fabric. Shoes to fit ONLY YOU. And the fact that she's London based is just another reason why you won't see tons of other ladies on Ludlow in your very same shoes. They start at about $600 USD. Eek. Not cheap yet so gorgeous, they cast some bizarre infatuation-like spell that'd nearly possess me to worth fly over there first class to pick them up in person.

And now, more amazing stuff but nowhere near as amazing as those above shoes yet decidedly more affordable.


($474, The Jackson Twins, Lollipoplondon.com)
Wait, I take that back. These are totally expensy but possibly worth it. I've been seeing lots of Jackson Twins shoes lately, and I truly love everything I'm seeing. I love the not-too-tall heels (most all under 3"), subtle vintage touches and bright colors. Very similar to Faryl Robin.



($441, Beatrix Ong, Lollipoplondon.com)
Darling, but again, I'm rarely a fan of the ankle strap. I like these perhaps a bit better:



($59, Exchange By Charles David, Smartbargains.com)
Boo again with the ankle strap AND suuuuch a high heel, but then again, the price is right. Also, Smartbargains is having a 3 shoes for $99 sale. Wee! Stock up, bishes!



($59, Arturo Chiang Corina, Smartbargains.com)
Love these in black and in their silver version.



(Apprx $42 USD, Asos.com)
I've been coveting these for a while. I should prolly just get 'em, right??



($17, Soda, Lulusfashionlounge.com)
A good staple.



($275, AKA New York, Activeendeavors.com)
Not overly crazy about the lacy trim at the bottom, but it just looks so comfy and cool for the swampass summer weather.



($451, Paul Smith)
I've stated before that white people should usually not wear pale yellow. But IF a fair-skinned white person were to break my own personal rule, I might excuse if if it were on behalf of this dress.



($88, French Connection, Zappos)
I positively adore this top but plan on waiting for it to go on super sale. (Still waiting...)



($138, Original Penguin, Zappos)
Also very cute.



(Apprx $30 USD, Topman.com)
Cute, but also for dudes. I'm also going to try NOT to smirk at the name "Top Man."



($275, Antoinette Lee, Couturecandy.com)
A most beauts fall bag.


Now, two footwear mortses:


($79, Michael Kors, Smartbargains.com)
Worst.


($193, Loeffler Randall, Creaturesofcomfort.com)
The rare and evasive horbs Loeffler Randall item. Terrible.

Stuff I'm Falling For This Fall

Sorry it's a been awhile, y'all. As you well know, aside from sorting through a potential move to London (good enough for Kate, good enough for me, I say!) I've been in the hospital with a "fractured" "wrist." Fortunately, they've replaced my septum, I mean... set my wrist, and all is well in T.Loland. Let's get right to it!



First, dig the raddest shoes I've ever seen on one server at Sniff -- a suuuuper sweet-ass shoe boutique in London.
(Apprx $244 USD, Mishka, Sniff.co.uk)
Too bad if you don't live in London, but you can call and order 'em by phone. Yay for advancements in telecommunications! Their house brand is a self-described hybrid of Gwen Stefani meets Dita Von Teese. As long as they take only the best of those two, and not the shameful worsts, I'll gladly holla back at such adorbs shoes. Har.


($90, Alex+Chloe, the aptly named Icovetthis.com)
Having been both a blonde and a brunette (and a redhead and also a raven-haired lady), I can honestly say that brunettes DO have more fun. AND bigger boobs. That said, I really want this necklace. Someone buy it for me, or I'll have to get pissy.


($194, Petro Zillia, CoutureCandy)
I know this isn't very fall-esque, but if you don't think this is just the cutest thing this side of the moon, well then fie on you. I searched for that mofo on ebay and found and got this instead for the low, low price of $25. Yay me!



($76, 525 America, Shopblushboutique.com)
Onto sweaters... This striped boyfriend sweater completely makes me go "Woo! Fall!" I like that it's grey and not predictable black and white, though I do like B&W too.

And look!
It's unpredictably V-backed, so you can totes wear it either way. It's like having two sweaters in one! And basic math tells us that two of anything is better than one, except for cold sores. Yuk!


($425, Loeffler Randall, Barefoottess.com)
Shoetime! Q: Could Loeffler Randall shoes be any more scrumptious? A: Heckynaw! They're like the thinking woman's Jimmy Choos. (Oh yes I did.)


($520, Jean Paul Gaultier, eLuxury)
Um, hi. They fit the ENTIRE Eiffel Tower up in there! The same person who's gonna get me that Brunette necklace should just pop for this while they're at it. $520 is a tad outta my price range (hell, $20 is outta my price range at the moment), but I WILL find a similar piece of about 1/750th of the price. Just you wait.


($770, Jean Paul Gaultier, eLuxury)
While filling up your hypothetical shopping cart with Gaultier, toss in this dreamy Deco dress too. I know I would. Also, the model in that photo, does she or does she not resemble TV's Finola Hughes?



($270, Manning Cartell, mycatwalk.com)
Finally, as you probably know, squirrels are basically the new owls. You heard it here. So I'd be remiss not to own this nutty little number. Swoon. I probably never will.

Ok. Eight is enough. I go and leave you with this...

Wait. I lied...

I believe I've shared my <3 for AKA New York, and if I haven't, then I will now.
($350, AKA New York, activenendeavors.com)

($350, AKA New York, activenendeavors.com)
Nevermind the fact that that model looks like the sluttier Bush twin. I really love this dress. Especially the shirt dress, which looks even better with boots, as opposed to the prego look smock dresses with boots can sometimes create. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The latter is even fall-i-er looking. Loves.

Ok. I go and leave you with this:

Binge away!