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... And from the back...
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God forbid, my house were on fire and I were asleep inside, naked, and, implausibly, this were the ONLY thing I could grab before fleeing the scene, I wouldn't even do it. I'd rather be caught completely nude than greet New York's finest in this hideola schmatte.
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This abomination is named "Suri." Now, I know it's not nice to make fun of little kids, but this shoe is hideous, and that little child looks like a strange foreign man. There. I said it.
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Five words: Eastern. European. Mail. Order. Bride.