($75.08, French Connection, Asos.com)
Whereas I hate all feet, I'm definitely not much of a thong fan. I don't want to see your feet, I don't want to expose my own, and I don't wanna see the black nastiness you're walking around in in the smelly dead heat of July. But, if I HAD to wear such shoes, I don't think I'd be super adverse to these. I can't STAND the ridiculousness of the Greek goddess sandal, so this is a decent happy medium.
($48, French Connection, fcusbuymail.com)
This is the Serin sandal, and I actually don't hate this either, but this is far as I'll go, y'all. Now keep your feets to yourself!!!
($350, Davis By Ruthie Davis, CoutureCandy.com)
These are absolutely atrocious, which is so unfortunate because I love the Davis By Ruthie Davis D'Orsay heels that are totally the hotness. These are totes the notness. She needs to stick to the fuck-me heels. Flat Mary Janes are NOT the way to go. These look like Little Orphan Annie Goes To The Spearmint Rhino or something. Ew.
($165, What Comes Around Goes Around, Shopbop.com)
Again, totally out of season, but What Comes Around Goes Around is one of my favorite brands, and this dress looks like it'd be even more amazing in person. Gogiter!
($52.80, Wrangler, Shopbop.com)
These looks super comfy AND slimming, and the ass is really cute. Tee!
($66, Seven Jeans, Shopbop.com)
An insane deal for Sevens. Plus, it's totes a wardrobe staple.
($110, Eugenia Kim, Shopbop.com)
Speaking of staples, I want to love and wear this Eugenia Kim dress forever and ever and ever, amen.
($55, Shopintuition.com)
Lovely AND even cheaper with this 25% off promo code: HANDPICKED
($168, Jessica Elliot, CoutureCandy.com)
This handcuff necklace is suh-weeeet, BUT, who's got it for waaaaay less? Oh yeah. That'd be me. It's sold out, but I got more where that came from, so holla at me.
