($59, Jeffrey Campbell, Dianeslittlelambs.com)
Holland is NOT footwear.
This girl is wearing a ribbon in her hair. UN-ironically. It is not Halloween. It is not Easter. She is not 5. To my knowledge, there was no fire that caused her to DASH out of her apartment wearing this without a second to stop and reconsider the horror. In fact, this photo was taken at a social event. Not at a bodega on a hungover Saturday morning. To add insult to injury and as if to make me want to gouge BOTH of my eyes out, instead of just one, she paired the hideousness with a puffy North Face jacket. Look carefully and you'll notice her arms are in the universal "WTF?" position. Perhaps she passed a mirror, was reminded of what she was wearing, and raised the question to herself. Or maybe she was drunk. Regardless, there's just no excuse.
